weekly update 03.10.2024
This week's been. Difficult. But alas.
What did I watch? The Traitors US Season 2 finale spoilers:
I watched the Traitors finale... Look I've been pissed at Trishelle ever since she lead the vote to oust Peppermint and I'm not happy she won (especially by screwing over yet another person lmao). I know, I know, trashy reality TV, but my mom got me into this show and I find it oddly compelling. I really wanted Kate and Phaedra to win tbh. I didn't watch the reunion but it felt as if people were singling out Peppermint solely because she is a Black transgender woman, and so I hope next season they bring her back in the middle of the game like they did with Kate (if she even wants to come back after that) because she's gorgeous, she's funny, and I really think she deserved to have more time.
What did I listen to? I've kinda been obsessively listening to my Anna Sheridan Spotify playlist. I find that the song "How Not To Drown" reminds me a lot of her... and I think "telemiscommunications" is a funny song to put on there considering how great (sarcasm) her marriage with John was when you Really think about it. Idk I guess I've just been thinking about her a lot lately, as one of my favorite B5 characters. I recently bought a ring that Melissa Gilbert wore on-screen in the Babylon 5 episode Z'ha'dum and so she's been On My Mind.
What did I do?....I know I've been recently complaining about college here a lot, but unfortunately I've made the decision to Drop Out Once Again. I thought I could handle it, but my mental health is still too bad. I really feel embarrassed for this, even though I know logically I shouldn't. But I'm coming to the conclusion that I need to accept I might be too disabled to handle college. I'm already considered legally too disabled to work - this shouldn't come as a surprise. But I love learning. I wanted to do college So Much. I just can't handle the pressure of deadlines, and my finite energy cannot keep up with constant work.
What did I think about? A lot... My therapist suggested I go on ADHD medication, and I was under the impression most ADHD meds interfered with my current medications, but after doing research, that doesn't seem to be the case, so now I'm very excited to see my psychiatrist at the end of this month to discuss getting them. I've had a diagnosis for ages but haven't been on meds since I was 7. I feel like ADHD medication could really improve my life, and may finally give me the ability to Do Things. Um, what else.. Oh yeah, I joined a new writing community, and though it was confusing at first, I figured it out eventually and it's really been helping my creativity.
Also, Ramadan Kareem!